Well, hello, reader. What's new with you? Yeah, me neither.

I want to make sure we understand each other. When I talk, people listen. You know why? Because I'm a webtoonist, that's why.

Tech stocks will remain turgid for the next 12 months. Lower interest rates are going to make bonds a better prospect. Of course, ninety percent of your investment returns are dependent not on the particular instruments you buy, but on the types. Invest for the long term. That guy on the radio who tells you to buy in some futures because of supply and demand is lying - the futures price already reflects everybody's understanding that natural gas prices are higher in the winter, lower in the summer. He doesn't care. He makes money on the transaction, not a smart transaction. Don't buy investments you don't understand. On the other hand, if you're young, this is the time of your life your retirement savings should be invested more aggressively; you're in for the real long term, and can withstand roller-coaster rides for now.

Apparently space is flat, and the old model of the universe as having four physical dimensions is wrong. It's as three-dimensional as it seems. Someday soon physicists are going to realize there aren't four forces, either: only three. Gravity is going to be understood to be an artifact of some combination of the other three. Sorry to disappoint you, but there aren't any 'gravitons.'

It's going to be a hot summer.

In general, only employ the sac bunt to move a runner from first to second, not second to third. If you're playing in Fenway, switch your left and right fielders *if you have chosen your left and right fielders based on their ability to cover the field, and not on their throwing arms.* For a good base runner, stealing second is a higher percentage play than waiting for the hit-and-run. One day, a catcher will have an unassisted triple play when he tags the batter after a dropped third strike, then tags the guy coming home on a suicide, and then something unexpected happens.

No matter what combination of numbers you pick, or what bet you make, every roulette spin is essentially the same odds. You will, over the long term, lose money at a relatively constant, predictable rate, no matter your 'strategy.'