Ms. BoxJam: Ooh... Here's a fun quiz... What would your best friend say he most DISlikes about you? A)You-

BoxJam: I don't have a best friend.

Ms. BoxJam: Huh? Mallethead!

BoxJam: Mallethead is MY best friend. I'm not MALLETHEAD'S best friend. There's a difference.

Ms. BoxJam: For the purposes of the quiz...

BoxJam: The context makes it clear they're talking about who would call you THEIR best friend. Nobody would. I'm just not the kind people think about.

BoxJam: Tell your Cosmo to go humiliate somebody else.

Ms. BoxJam: It's not Cosmo. It's a psychology journal. "How to tell if you have an esteem problem."