Representative: Mr. Speaker, we must impeach his Mega-Awesomeness, if for no other reason than only the Congress can declare war!

Speaker: He said he has that right because he was elected agronimously.

Representative: "Agroni"- What does that even mean?

Speaker: I have no idea.

Speaker: Well, if there are no more items, let's move forward on Kentucky's and Vermont's applications for stateho-

Envoys: Actually, we withdraw them.

Speaker: Oh... Just so you know, the Grand Poo-bah says that terrotories that don't join probably harbor pirates...

Envoys: We're land-loc-! Skip it. We ally with Whiskystan. And France.

[[Two Americans in the street]]

Banner: Molly Pitcher shot her husband and was forced to work the cannon. ~Montmouth Cannoneers~

Onlooker: That's unbelievable!

Onlooker 2: Well, there must be some truth to it... they couldn't just make it all up!

[[Bush and Cheney address a reporter]]

Cheney: ...and because "Molly Pitcher" maybe thinks people should be able to marry "the French way," we're putting it up for referendum in the eleven remaining states.

Reporter: Can I ask him that?

Cheney: He'd say the same thing as me, so no.

Journalist: Some are saying your attacks on her are not true...

Bush: I never attacked her... I have no control over them... By the way, you need to sign a loyalty oath for talking to me...

[[Molly Pitcher/McCauley and someone]]

Someone: Ms. McCauley, Ben Franklin was kidding when he suggested in a letter the turkey is a better symbol than the bald eagle. He didn't really think that.

Molly McCauley: What does that have to do with me running against Bush in an alternate history?

Someone: Nothing. It's just a pet peeve of the cartoonist's.