[[Mallethead approaches a news/beer stand]]

Mallethead (thinking): I hope Canada has some job for a hammerhead like me...

Mallethead: G'DAY, MATE! I'D LIKE A PAPER!

News/beer stand operator: @#*!! tourist...

Mallethead (thinking): Classifieds...section zed...please let there be something I'd be good at...

Closeup of classifieds: Wanted: Snow compressor inquire at..00 ~ to club baby harp seals - must have own crushing instrument - 555-3180 ~ Needed - big log pounder to pound.. ~ Seeking head bashing big elk training partner 555-1400 ~ Looking to hire: general beer hooligan - call KLOndike-3281 ~ Hockey team seeks enforcer - knock hard on steel door ~ Ice smasher..300

Mallethead (thinking): I love this country!